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December 19, 2015 by tomdalzell

Gabby’s Sex Sells Christmas Record Albums

 

My friend is going for simple and uncluttered with his Danish modern furniture and decor, this after years of comforting chaos. He is less likely to hold onto things that Gabby sends him, but he still looks forward to the cartons arriving unannounced, such as this carton of record album covers that mix Christmas with sex.  How inappropriate is this????

Gabby had been in Philadelphia with Young Emily visiting her mother Tavia who, I am glad to report, is doing very well indeed.

St-Francis-HABS

She is very involved at Saint Francis de Sales at 46th and Springfield, just a few blocks south of Baltimore Avenue. She is very involved in the lives of her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Postcard164-Camden-1c

While in Philadelphia, Gabby slipped away for a day and hit the junk shops and thrift shops in Camden.  He didn’t know what he would look for.

77e429d3cc5b3ef41a4ea388ec428390

He found this and new what he was going to hunt.  This is what he found in about six hours.

xtina_dec2 presidente-matthew & tara c taylor-homo for the holiday-2012 Cartel dingdongdandy_christmas_album_dec2 puppini_dec2 Single_Eartha_Kitt-Santa_Baby_cover krall_dec2 creepy-santa ho2000orange_dec2 2071939624_e35cde4098_z 318202509_9c30df4072_z setzer_dec2 maxresdefault christmas-with-the-valiens-album-cover Screen Shot 2015-12-14 at 5.48.09 AM worst-album-cover-0013 77e429d3cc5b3ef41a4ea388ec428390 2D50A1DE00000578-3268860-image-a-8_1444615989470 Oh-Santa-by-Mariah-Carey-for-Christmas%20dec2-thumb-400x400 new_mariah_carey_christmas_album_dec2 merry_christmas img_3806 buckcherry_xmas

He had a couple of additions where the double meaning / word play was the issue, not the cover art.

trim your tree

We aren’t dealing with a worn-out sexual innuendo here, but – you judge: ““I’m gonna bring along my hatchet/ my beautiful Christmas balls/ I’ll sprinkle my snow up on your tree/ and hang my mistletoe on your wall/ Baby, I’ll make you cheery/ Baby, you’ll call me ‘dearie’/ Baby, I want to trim you/ a beautiful Christmas tree”

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And this one – kind of obvious.  Of the two back doors possible, thankfully this one is the less offensive to pious eyes and ears:

They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day
They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day
I make all the little girls happy
While the boys are out to play

I ain’t like the old Saint Nick
He don’t come but once a year
I ain’t like the old Saint Nick
He don’t come but once a year
I come runnin’ with my presents
Every time you call me dear

Our friend Gabby had clearly enjoyed his little romp through the record bins of Camden.   What did my friend think of it all?

IMG_3677-225x300

 

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